Have you ever queued, exasperated by the repeated cry of 'next' and asked the man in front, 'Are you deaf?' only to discover that he is? Who hasn't tried to slip under the covers before the lover of their dreams discovers they're wearing chewing-gum-grey pants? If you have then Guy Browning is here with an invaluable guide to surviving such toe-curling moments. His advice includes: What to do when you discover the man you beeped, flashed and swore at for driving too slowly is your girlfriend's father who you'll meet for the first time that night. How to convince your friends that shoes with loo-paper attached to the soles are now a cutting-edge fashion statement. How to argue, persuasively, that George Eliot is in fact a man.